$10 a pound

Lawrence Toppman

A guy needs short-term goals in a weight-loss program, as well as long-term objectives. And I see now that I'm not going to make one of mine, which was to fit into a tuxedo I own by September 18.

I'm going to be master of ceremonies for "Serenade to Autumn," the Opera Carolina chorus fundraiser at Booth Playhouse. I wanted to wear the dark gray wedding suit in which I was married, but the organizers asked me to don a tux. I last wore mine during the first Bush administration (the dad, not the son) and realized yesterday it has a size 35 waist. There's a chance I'll use it someday, if I lose all 20 pounds I hope to drop. But the 12 I've lost so far won't be enough.

(There may be a curse on this tuxedo, anyway. A wrathful, soon-to-be-ex-wife whose husband had cheated on her surprised me with it one afternoon, when I came by the house to say hello. I asked if her spouse realized she was giving away his clothes or might want to take them during the divorce. "Who gives a *&^$@!" she replied. My conscience troubled me, so this was all I took. And nothing else of his seemed to fit.)

Anyhow, this is the first time I have been able to put a dollar figure on this weight-loss project. If I were 10 pounds lighter, I could get into this tux, saving Opera Carolina the cost of a $100 rental. Well, maybe they'll let me use the gray suit, after all....