Get thee behind me, Satan!

Did you ever notice how often people offer you food -- delicious, sugary food -- when you're trying to lose weight? My co-workers just held out a bag of Moose Munch, whose first two ingredients are corn syrup and sugar. I declined, nostrils quivering.

To make this slimming procedure easier, I have walked away from four office parties since the start of the year (and tried to keep a smug smile off my face). I never realized how often food floats around the Observer newsroom, whether brought in by employees or dropped off by companies wanting to promote a new product. Oddly, no one ever seems to send us ramen noodles or miso soup.

I used to graze gently, or what I thought was gently, at these events. I'd pick up a small brownie here, maybe a cookie there and -- wait, over there, a tiny oatmeal bar! I find it easier to abstain these days, rather than trying to choose among the treats. I know now that it takes a village to raise my pants size.

Lawrence Toppman