Why it's hard to get my G.E.D.

Lawrence Toppman:

A dietitian once told me that keeping weight off is a simple matter of "G.E.D." -- genes, exercise and diet. If you have good luck and make good choices in those three areas, there's nothing to it. I've already written about my dumpling-shaped genetic code, and I'm trying to modify my diet by using common sense: less of the bad things, more of the good, elimination of none. (We'll see how that works.)

Exercise, now -- that's another matter. Readers have kindly supplied advice about weight training and aerobics and running and Jazzercise. One compared my activities on my treadmill to a hamster going around on a wheel. (But not a FAT hamster, so I didn't mind.) I expect they speak from experience, sharing what works for them. But in this case, that would be like me saying, "I understand you sing in the shower. Let me tell you how to join me in the Opera Carolina chorus." Everyone has to find his own level of commitment, and I'm realistic about mine.

I HATE exercise. Hate it. If exercise could take corporeal form, and I could burn calories by punching it in the face, I would do so two hours a day. I have been told that, if I ran long enough, endorphins would kick in and make the experience uniquely pleasant. I was also told in college that, if I drank enough beer, I would gradually develop an appreciation for it and stop saying it tasted like liquid dirt.

I have never tested either theory and, at 56, am not going to -- although I suppose I could increase exercise and beer consumption simultaneously and test both at once. I'll have to work out this G.E.D. program my own way or not at all.